Friday, October 07, 2005

People are a burden to corporate America.....

Dear Employees,

You are too expensive for us. Yes, we know that during tight employment times we drove up wages almost uncontrollably to fight for your skills, and we used to care about your welfare which drove up benefit costs, but now all that has changed. You see there are college educated people in other countries that will work for 1/10th of what we are paying you and there are tons of these folks available. They don't buy much as consumers but we know American consumers will buy lots of our stuff, if the price is cheaper.

The continued reduction in average family income in America is not our problem because we are lowering our prices to help your reduced wages still buy more. And please understand, as soon as we can find even cheaper resources elsewhere then the current employees in {Insert Country Here} we will abandon them as well. If all goes well we expect to automate 99% of your jobs in the next century and then we will not be bothered with actually having to employ any humans.

Signed,

Greedy Corporations

NOTE TO MARKETING COMPUTER: Please design marketing campaign to sell our products to robots, humans will be out of money soon.

1 comment:

Steven said...

Hah... oh E you make me laugh. I was cruising through BlogBridge and came across this great post and went to get the URL to email to you 'cause I just *KNEW* you'd get a kick out of it... and it's Your Frackin' Post!

Get well dude.